Eating Disorder Expert How Do I Help Myself With This Eating-disorder?

How do i help myself with this eating-disorder? - eating disorder expert

Sometimes I had again, as it was. Peace of mind and I could eat what I wanted. I became an expert on everything related to food / fitness / fat calories. I calculated my calorie intake with precision calories and that's what's on my head in mathematics, English and science. I do not follow from the bed, because the food the night before she comes back to me and I can not go out with friends for fear that bite to eat someone. I hate my body and avoid spending the day in front of the mirror. Not without the control of the intake of calories and all know, calories / fat content of all fruits and vegetables per 100 grams. I have to burn the practice until the fall, and I can not walk from Topshop / H & M cos I can not fully mirror in her shop. I would like to one day be free of this I do not know how. I will not allow the thin. For now I'm so fat ****. I do not know what to do to get help because the people around